马经开奖wwwkj788con


苹果小米华为手表对比

  文章来源:杭州58安居客|马经开奖wwwkj788con马经开奖wwwkj788con发布时间:2019-12-06 16:04:48  【字号:      】

  

  It was a rarity for “Saturday Night Live” this weekend: an opening sketch that had absolutely nothing to do with President Trump or politics.

  Instead, the show sent up the much talked about sit-down between the “CBS This Morning” host Gayle King and the singer R. Kelly, who has been charged with 10 counts of aggravated criminal sexual abuse involving four women, three of whom were underage at the time. Leslie Jones played King while Kenan Thompson portrayed Kelly, who repeatedly asked Jones to call him “Victim.” She declined.

  Thompson voiced multiple asides in the style of Kelly’s “Trapped in the Closet” series and told Jones that he had “more than millions of dollars: thousands.”

  When asked about the recent Lifetime documentary series “Surviving R. Kelly,” in which many of the alleged abuses where recounted, Thompson said: “They made it seem like I was the Devil. I’m not the Devil. and even if I was, you can’t think of one nice thing to say about the Devil? I can. Nice horns. Gives good advice.”

  The sketch also went on to parody the moment when Kelly came unglued and got out of his chair during the CBS interview. But first, the singer seemed confused about whether the interview had even started. He didn’t recognize the cameras directly in front of him.

  “You all just keep your camera out in the open like that?” Thompson asked. “You all are some freaks.”

  Asked directly if he had ever held women against their will, Thompson said: “O.K. guys, think for a minute. Use your brains. Why would I do these things? For 30 years. I gave you all ‘Trapped in the Closet.’ ‘Feelin’ on Yo’ Booty.’ ‘Age Ain’t Nothing but a Number.’ And so many other clues.”

Sketch of the Week

  The standout sketch this week took aim at uproars over Hollywood casting decisions, spurred by social media mobs. The parody came in the form of a game show hosted by Thompson called “Can I Play That?” — “actors’ least favorite game.”

  The game featured three contestants, played by this week’s host, Idris Elba, and by Beck Bennett and Cecily Strong, each of whom portrayed working actors asked to give their best guesses as to who was allowed to play certain roles.

  Thompson started by asking contestants about a recent real-life example: Will Smith’s casting as Richard Williams, the father of Venus and Serena Williams. Some have criticized the choice, arguing that Smith is too light-skinned to play Richard Williams. Can he play that?

  Bennett hit the buzzer first: “Yes, of course, he’ll do a great job,” he said.

  He was wrong. Strong buzzed in with the right answer: “Absolutely not, he’s not black enough.”

  Responding to Elba, who asked if this was real, Thompson said: “It sure is. Because this game is produced by Twitter. Twitter: One mistake, and we’ll kill you.”

  The rest of the sketch followed along the same lines. Elba’s character was told he was not allowed to play a blind person.

  “Isn’t that what acting is about?” Elba asked. “You know, becoming someone you’re not?”

  “Not anymore, no.” Thompson replied. “Now it’s about becoming yourself but with a different haircut.”

  By the end of the sketch, it was decided that no one could play Caitlyn Jenner in a biopic and that Rami Malek could play anyone he wanted. In a lightning round, Bennett guessed correctly that a white male like him could play “a white guy, a white guy who gained 50 pounds, slave owner, and that’s it.”

Weekend Update Jokes of the Week

  This week, Colin Jost and Michael Che kicked off “Weekend Update” by taking on the sentencing of Paul Manafort, Trump’s former campaign chairman who was sentenced to less than four years in one of the two cases against him, well below the sentencing guidelines.

  Jost:

  O.K., here’s how bad Trump’s presidency is going. His campaign manager this week was sentenced to four years in prison, and for Trump, that’s good news. Paul Manafort, who looks like he was born divorced, faced up to 24 years in prison but only got four years, probably in a minimum security white collar facility with a bunch of his friends. The guy stole over million and he basically got sentenced to college.

  Che later added:

  Paul Manafort got 47 months for tax evasion and bank fraud, which, as a black guy, feels very unfair. But for a rich black guy, it’s a little encouraging. I mean if I could steal millions of dollars and the United States presidency in exchange for, like, three years of prison in my 70s? I can’t promise I won’t try.

  Jost went on to riff about a photo published Friday in the Miami Herald of Trump’s Super Bowl party at his country club in West Palm Beach:

  It was reported that President Trump watched the Super Bowl at Mar-a-Lago with Li Yang, the woman who founded the chain of Asian day spas where Patriots owner Robert Kraft allegedly solicited a prostitute. First of all, what a time to be alive, huh? Second, you know that Trump spent all their time together trying to convince her to give up North Korea’s nuclear weapons.

  Che then dug into Trump regarding his Friday visit to Alabama in the wake of several deadly tornadoes there, which have killed at least 23 people:

  President Trump visited tornado victims in Alabama and signed bibles for them. Now, I don’t know, man. I’m not a very religious guy, but I feel like when you’re getting your bible signed by a dude that raw dogs porn stars, you’re probably not a very religious guy either.

Weekend Update Deskside Bit of the Week

  “S.N.L.” loves a good celebrity cameo, and this week it was Gwyneth Paltrow, who was brought onto Weekend Update to mock her own lifestyle company, Goop.

  The bit started innocently enough as Che invited a Goop staffer, played by Heidi Gardner, to discuss the company’s recent wellness summit. She presented a Goop body wash, which was made with ginger and something called ashwagandha. Unfortunately, she couldn’t properly describe what ashwagandha was, so she brought on her supervisor, Pfeiffer, played by Paltrow herself.

  When Gardner expressed the worry that she would be fired, Paltrow-as-Pfeiffer reassured her that the real-life Paltrow didn’t believe in firing: “Remember, it’s called conscious unemploying.”

Digital Short of the Week

  Perhaps tied to the release of “Captain Marvel,” “S.N.L.” tried a Marvel parody of its own with a version of “The Incredible Hulk” titled “The Impossible Hulk,” in which Elba played Bruce Banner. In this case, however, instead of turning into a supersized green monster when he got angry, Banner morphed into an “emboldened white lady.”

  The enjoyable short featured Strong turning the self-entitlement up to the maximum while harassing neighbors having a party, exploding at a police officer during a traffic stop, and losing it at a cashier trying to enforce a store credit policy.

B:

  

  马经开奖wwwkj788con【黎】【焕】【前】【脚】【刚】【关】【上】【房】【门】,【后】【脚】【整】【个】【大】【殿】【都】【被】【天】【笑】【发】【出】【的】【光】【芒】【照】【亮】。 【四】【周】【的】【阴】【气】【在】【发】【出】【一】【阵】【悲】【鸣】【声】【后】【消】【失】【地】【无】【影】【无】【踪】。 “【天】【笑】【你】……”【袁】【裴】【看】【着】【降】【落】【在】【地】【的】【天】【笑】,【急】【忙】【赶】【了】【上】【去】。 【天】【笑】【周】【身】【的】【光】【芒】【渐】【渐】【消】【退】,【天】【笑】【缓】【缓】【睁】【开】【眼】,【看】【着】【眼】【前】【的】【袁】【裴】【问】【道】:“【到】【底】【发】【生】【什】【么】【了】?” 【袁】【裴】【感】【叹】【道】:“【没】【想】【到】【你】【这】【玄】

【见】【两】【人】【神】【色】【轻】【松】,【楚】【涵】【也】【暗】【暗】【松】【了】【口】【气】【道】:“【你】【们】【说】【的】【那】【招】,【是】【什】【么】【意】【思】【啊】。” 【玉】【真】【子】【轻】【笑】【一】【声】,【只】【无】【奈】【的】【言】【道】:“【这】【个】【吗】,【跟】【你】【说】【不】【清】【楚】,【你】【且】【看】【来】【就】【是】。” 【只】【见】【玉】【真】【子】【右】【手】【一】【握】,【望】【着】【楚】【涵】【好】【奇】【的】【不】【停】【张】【望】,【玉】【真】【子】【手】【不】【由】【张】【了】【开】【来】,【只】【见】【竟】【是】【一】【群】【蚊】【子】【飞】【了】【出】【来】,【楚】【涵】【当】【即】【惊】【叫】【一】【声】,【退】【了】【两】【步】【道】:“【玉】

【所】【有】【的】【变】【化】【都】【是】【有】【原】【因】【的】。 【钟】【明】【霞】【可】【能】【就】【是】【在】【这】【种】【变】【化】【里】【面】,【成】【长】【特】【别】【快】【的】【那】【种】。 【一】【片】【相】【机】【快】【门】【声】【中】,【她】【也】【没】【跟】【杜】【雯】【商】【量】,【伸】【手】【抓】【了】***【凑】【嘴】【边】:“【不】【用】【着】【急】【拍】,【这】【照】【片】【待】【会】【儿】【随】【便】【下】【载】,【今】【天】【九】【点】【过】【开】【始】,【我】【就】【开】【放】【了】【在】【网】【络】【云】【上】【的】10G【照】【片】【地】【址】,【随】【便】【提】【取】,【比】【网】【上】【流】【传】【的】【全】【面】【多】【了】……” 【记】【者】【们】

  【美】【国】【时】【间】【周】【三】【股】【市】【收】【盘】【后】【公】【布】【了】【百】【度】【第】【三】【季】【度】【的】【财】【报】,【据】【财】【报】【显】【示】,【百】【度】【上】【个】【季】【度】【的】【营】【业】【收】【入】【同】【比】【去】【年】【不】【相】【上】【下】。【同】【时】,【在】【上】【周】【四】【百】【度】【的】【股】【价】【还】【上】【涨】【了】13%,【总】【的】【来】【说】【比】【之】【前】【分】【析】【师】【的】【预】【期】【要】【好】【得】【多】。马经开奖wwwkj788con【林】【杰】【的】【话】,【深】【深】【触】【动】【了】【刘】【敬】【信】。【他】【从】【来】【没】【有】【想】【过】【这】【么】【多】,【此】【时】【仔】【细】【回】【想】,【他】【猛】【然】【发】【现】,【自】【己】【好】【像】【还】【真】【的】【是】【林】【杰】【说】【得】【那】【样】【子】。 【虽】【然】【他】【很】【多】【时】【候】【会】【提】【前】【为】【完】【成】【某】【件】【事】【暗】【暗】【列】【出】【计】【划】【和】【行】【动】,【比】【如】【戒】【烟】、【比】【如】【排】【练】。【但】【他】【也】【经】【常】【在】【做】【一】【些】【事】【时】【很】【随】【性】【而】【为】,【比】【如】【当】【初】【比】【赛】【时】【的】“【绑】【架】【欧】【雷】【瓦】”【计】【划】,【比】【如】【为】【了】【问】【清】【楚】【甄】【有】【才】

  【如】【果】【说】【姣】【好】【的】【容】【貌】【是】【女】【人】【的】【武】【器】,【那】【么】【聪】【明】【的】【女】【人】【能】【把】【这】【件】【武】【器】【变】【的】【得】【心】【应】【手】。 【黄】【昶】【看】【着】【其】【他】【人】【一】【根】【接】【着】【一】【根】【地】【点】【燃】【香】【烟】,【心】【中】【不】【免】【也】【开】【始】【焦】【躁】【起】【来】。【对】【于】【加】【藤】【教】【授】【带】【来】【的】【消】【息】【现】【在】【也】【分】【不】【清】【是】【真】【是】【假】,【基】【于】【对】【我】【妻】【美】【冬】【的】【了】【解】,【所】【有】【人】【都】【认】【为】【她】【不】【会】【做】【出】【这】【种】【愚】【蠢】【的】【事】【情】,【就】【算】【是】【为】【了】【报】【复】,【也】【不】【会】【这】【么】【引】【人】【注】【目】

  【拉】【扯】【上】【司】【云】【泠】,【绝】【对】【是】【轻】【音】【最】【不】【想】【的】【事】,【可】【眼】【下】【她】【实】【在】【是】【没】【办】【法】【了】! 【如】【果】【说】【单】【单】【一】【个】【夜】【靳】【泽】【无】【法】【让】【海】【王】【下】【定】【决】【心】【将】【她】【带】【走】,【那】【加】【上】【司】【云】【泠】【呢】?! 【她】【很】【清】【楚】【君】【权】【的】【身】【手】,【若】【是】【一】【对】【一】,【凭】【她】【自】【己】【一】【人】【根】【本】【无】【法】【做】【到】【从】【君】【权】【手】【里】【全】【身】【而】【退】,【她】【若】【是】【错】【失】【了】【老】【人】【将】【她】【带】【走】【的】【机】【会】,【那】【她】【就】【真】【的】【身】【陷】【在】【这】【里】【再】【也】【无】【法】【得】【到】

  【子】【衿】【在】【别】【苑】【里】【过】【了】【几】【天】【逍】【遥】【自】【在】【的】【日】【子】,【眼】【下】【差】【不】【多】【是】【把】【姑】【苏】【的】【那】【些】【破】【事】【儿】【全】【都】【抛】【开】【了】,【这】【日】【里】【学】【着】【厨】【房】【里】【新】【来】【的】【厨】【娘】【做】【了】【酥】【饼】,【用】【小】【碗】【装】【着】【去】【给】【轩】【辕】【朔】【品】【尝】,【敲】【开】【门】,【轩】【辕】【朔】【好】【像】【正】【在】【与】【一】【个】【老】【头】【子】【商】【量】【什】【么】【事】【情】,【脸】【色】【并】【不】【好】【看】,【但】【是】【看】【着】【子】【衿】【进】【来】【了】,【还】【是】【向】【子】【衿】【挤】【出】【了】【一】【抹】【笑】。 “【娘】【子】【来】【了】?” 【子】【衿】【回】




(责任编辑:张伟华)

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